God's Grace
Wow - where to start? It's only been a couple days since I posted but it feels like a lot has happened. First of all, thank you again to all of you who are praying and leaving encouraging comments - it means more than you know to have the assurance that so many people are interceding and caring for us!! I think I will structure this post by summarizing each of the past three days...
Tuesday
This was a really rough day for me. I've been fighting a lot of spiritual and emotional battles here at Kijabe. I often feel like I'm in the way and not needed. The hospital is run mostly by Kenyans which is absolutely wonderful. My struggle has been in figuring out how I can be of any help here in a system and culture that I don't know or understand. In the morning I went in with Jason to attend a resident teaching session and to observe patient rounds. I ended up coming back to our apartment early and didn't do much until Jason came back and convinced me to go to the market with him. Before we left for the market he spent a while talking and praying with me. God knew exactly what I needed, and He encouraged and strengthened me once again through my dear husband. What a gift! God grace on me once again leaves me in complete amazement.
"Lord, my words can't even come close to expressing my heart, but thank you - for who You are and for Your grace poured out."
Jason and I came to the conclusion that it is true that the people here could do just fine without us. This trip, and even our very lives, are not about what we can do and accomplish. It is all about God and what He is doing in and through us. Our worth is found in our relationship with Him, not in what we do. I have to remind myself of this over and over. God doesn't need me. By His grace, and because of His love, He chooses to have a relationship with us and to use us for His purposes. We have the awesome privilege of partaking in God's love and work because of Him. My focus must change from what I can accomplish and how I am meeting needs, to simply walking with God and knowing Him more. As I do this, He will do His work in and through me. What a freedom and joy can be found in this truth! I'm praying for Him to embed it even deeper into my heart...
Although the day started rough, it ended in the joy of community. We invited a few people over to our temporary home for dinner (I was really nervous about cooking on a gas stove with no numbers to go by :). Dinner turned out well, and we had a great time getting to know a couple that works at the Bible college, along with one of Jason's med-school classmates who is here for three weeks. The evening concluded with fresh fruit, hot tea, and a lot of laughter.
Wednesday
This day was a lot of fun! It was a holiday here in Kenya, celebrating national heroes. We began at Rift Valley Academy (large, well-equipped school for missionary kids), as they sang and performed for their "multi-cultural day". There are over 25 countries represented at the school. A lot of diversity, energy, and joy.
We then headed to Naivasha Lake and Crescent Moon Island. Due to the holiday, there wasn't much going on at the hospital so we decided to take one day to enjoy some of the Kenyan animals. This island is a place where the animals roam free and people are allowed to walk and around and enjoy the sights. There are no predators on the island with the exception of hyenas and pythons (both of which I had no desire to see!), so it is relatively safe. We got to see zebras, water buck, gazelle, pelicans, wildebeest, a giraffe, and hippos... along with a few horses, a cow, and sheep! :) It was a really amazing experience to be able to walk as closely to them as they would allow, and to watch some of them run in herds...The giraffe was my favorite. They are my inspiration, as they are so graceful and never seem to be in a hurry. :)
After arriving back at Kijabe, we spent the evening at one of the doctor's homes for dinner and dessert. He and his wife are from the States and have three biological children and two adopted from Kenya. They are a beautiful family and we really enjoyed visiting with them.
Thursday
It is now almost 1:00 in the afternoon here and I am enjoying the sunshine and light breeze today. This morning went really well as I did my first cross-cultural lecture to ICU nurses! Thank you again for your prayers! I definitely felt like a novice at teaching, but I very much enjoyed it. The nurses seemed to understand and appreciate the information, and I was able to break through a few cultural barriers at the beginning with family pictures (especially of my new nephew! :). I did an hour lecture on "Pediatric vs. Adult Physiology". Half of the nurses had to leave a little early to assist with a very critical patient, but otherwise all went well.
It is always a bit amusing to me in retrospect when I think of how nervous I get about things that usually turn out just fine. Oh well, I guess it's all part of growing up... :)
After teaching, I was able to watch and help out a little in the ICU. The patient I referred to above is a young woman who collapsed on the floor in full cardiac arrest and was transferred to the ICU after about an hour of resuscitation. She is 37 weeks pregnant but they confirmed that her baby had already died yesterday. As I left the hospital, she was on her way to the OR to have the baby removed by C-section and to then hopefully stabilize her more. I'm praying she will make it through all of this without any long-term problems. Pray for her and her family though as they struggle with the loss of the baby as well.
I'll probably be heading back over to the hospital in a little while to see how things are going for Jason in clinic, and to check in with the ICU patients and workers. Until then, I'll spend a little time reading and perhaps journaling some more. We are going over to another doctor's house after dinner tonight. This one has been here for years at Kijabe. He is an incredible man of God who has done amazing work throughout Kenya and Africa. I'm looking forward to knowing him and his wife a little better.
Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement! God is using you!
Love in Christ,
Meridith
"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need".
Hebrews 4:14-16
Tuesday
This was a really rough day for me. I've been fighting a lot of spiritual and emotional battles here at Kijabe. I often feel like I'm in the way and not needed. The hospital is run mostly by Kenyans which is absolutely wonderful. My struggle has been in figuring out how I can be of any help here in a system and culture that I don't know or understand. In the morning I went in with Jason to attend a resident teaching session and to observe patient rounds. I ended up coming back to our apartment early and didn't do much until Jason came back and convinced me to go to the market with him. Before we left for the market he spent a while talking and praying with me. God knew exactly what I needed, and He encouraged and strengthened me once again through my dear husband. What a gift! God grace on me once again leaves me in complete amazement.
"Lord, my words can't even come close to expressing my heart, but thank you - for who You are and for Your grace poured out."
Jason and I came to the conclusion that it is true that the people here could do just fine without us. This trip, and even our very lives, are not about what we can do and accomplish. It is all about God and what He is doing in and through us. Our worth is found in our relationship with Him, not in what we do. I have to remind myself of this over and over. God doesn't need me. By His grace, and because of His love, He chooses to have a relationship with us and to use us for His purposes. We have the awesome privilege of partaking in God's love and work because of Him. My focus must change from what I can accomplish and how I am meeting needs, to simply walking with God and knowing Him more. As I do this, He will do His work in and through me. What a freedom and joy can be found in this truth! I'm praying for Him to embed it even deeper into my heart...
Although the day started rough, it ended in the joy of community. We invited a few people over to our temporary home for dinner (I was really nervous about cooking on a gas stove with no numbers to go by :). Dinner turned out well, and we had a great time getting to know a couple that works at the Bible college, along with one of Jason's med-school classmates who is here for three weeks. The evening concluded with fresh fruit, hot tea, and a lot of laughter.
Wednesday
This day was a lot of fun! It was a holiday here in Kenya, celebrating national heroes. We began at Rift Valley Academy (large, well-equipped school for missionary kids), as they sang and performed for their "multi-cultural day". There are over 25 countries represented at the school. A lot of diversity, energy, and joy.
We then headed to Naivasha Lake and Crescent Moon Island. Due to the holiday, there wasn't much going on at the hospital so we decided to take one day to enjoy some of the Kenyan animals. This island is a place where the animals roam free and people are allowed to walk and around and enjoy the sights. There are no predators on the island with the exception of hyenas and pythons (both of which I had no desire to see!), so it is relatively safe. We got to see zebras, water buck, gazelle, pelicans, wildebeest, a giraffe, and hippos... along with a few horses, a cow, and sheep! :) It was a really amazing experience to be able to walk as closely to them as they would allow, and to watch some of them run in herds...The giraffe was my favorite. They are my inspiration, as they are so graceful and never seem to be in a hurry. :)
After arriving back at Kijabe, we spent the evening at one of the doctor's homes for dinner and dessert. He and his wife are from the States and have three biological children and two adopted from Kenya. They are a beautiful family and we really enjoyed visiting with them.
Thursday
It is now almost 1:00 in the afternoon here and I am enjoying the sunshine and light breeze today. This morning went really well as I did my first cross-cultural lecture to ICU nurses! Thank you again for your prayers! I definitely felt like a novice at teaching, but I very much enjoyed it. The nurses seemed to understand and appreciate the information, and I was able to break through a few cultural barriers at the beginning with family pictures (especially of my new nephew! :). I did an hour lecture on "Pediatric vs. Adult Physiology". Half of the nurses had to leave a little early to assist with a very critical patient, but otherwise all went well.
It is always a bit amusing to me in retrospect when I think of how nervous I get about things that usually turn out just fine. Oh well, I guess it's all part of growing up... :)
After teaching, I was able to watch and help out a little in the ICU. The patient I referred to above is a young woman who collapsed on the floor in full cardiac arrest and was transferred to the ICU after about an hour of resuscitation. She is 37 weeks pregnant but they confirmed that her baby had already died yesterday. As I left the hospital, she was on her way to the OR to have the baby removed by C-section and to then hopefully stabilize her more. I'm praying she will make it through all of this without any long-term problems. Pray for her and her family though as they struggle with the loss of the baby as well.
I'll probably be heading back over to the hospital in a little while to see how things are going for Jason in clinic, and to check in with the ICU patients and workers. Until then, I'll spend a little time reading and perhaps journaling some more. We are going over to another doctor's house after dinner tonight. This one has been here for years at Kijabe. He is an incredible man of God who has done amazing work throughout Kenya and Africa. I'm looking forward to knowing him and his wife a little better.
Thank you again for your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement! God is using you!
Love in Christ,
Meridith
"Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need".
Hebrews 4:14-16
Thanks for sharing, Meridith. One thing I have been seeing and learning a lot lately is that I have no idea what the lord is doing. And maybe he has made this whole trip happen for you to hear that one message Tuesday...and he loves you that much to orchestrate all of this for you to know that. Which is amazing! Eccles. 11:5 talks about this idea..not knowing the activity of the Lord. Yes, he has extravagant love for his children in Africa (which has led you there), but he has that same love for you and wants you to know that. So, I hope that you continue to hear his love. And I agree...it can be a tough place, especially when you are only there a short time, to find a place to feel useful..but know you were made with a beautiful heart that connects to others and I am sure he is using that there. Anyway, still praying for you guys!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Rebekah. This is such an encouragement to me! The Lord is amazing in the way He works and it is so far beyond us. I just have to continually accept His ways, even when I don't understand. Praying that I keep learning to trust Him more...
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the prayers! By the way, I would love to hang out when we get home.