The Lord's Whisper

“Meridith, fully embrace the life I am calling you to (right now – this moment).”

I have been hearing these words for quite some time -whispered in my heart and echoing in my mind. I believe they are from the Lord. I believe that He is  calling me to live the way He intends for me to - freely and completely. It might seem like I am already living fully and abundantly – I have an incredible husband, two wonderful sons, an adventurous life in Africa... yet I so often live holding back. I battle fear, insecurity, perfectionism, discontentment, comparison, envy, worldliness, pride, selfishness, impatience. While battling these things doesn’t keep me from an abundant life, giving in to them does.

What am I embracing?

While modern technology, communication, entertainment, blogs, and social media can add many good things to our lives, one thing that they often steal from mine is the focus on my own life – the one God has called me to live. There is something in me that enjoys escaping into the lives of others when I am feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I often begin by looking for inspiration or motivation, and sometimes I find that. But more often I find a subtle discontentment with my own life – my body, my daily tasks, my imperfections, etc.

So is the problem in me or in these things? Should I eliminate blogs and social media etc from my life because they are often an escape and a distraction from the things that I need to do?

I have asked these questions over and over in the past several years. At one point I decided to delete my facebook account but Jason likes the opportunities it provides to keep people updated easily, share pictures, etc. So when I am really struggling with wasting time or feeling distracted or discontent, I have Jason change our password so that I can’t access fb for a while and I limit or eliminate time on the internet. This helps – similar in concept to other forms of fasting I think. However, this always ends up being a temporary fix.

The past few days have been full of the Lord calling me back to Himself in so many ways. He is gentle, persistent, loving, and strong. He is refocusing me on what really matters. It is the hard road, the hard choice, yet so good at the same time. I often want to escape from daily challenges to a place where everything is sunny, beautiful, and happy. I want things to be ‘picture perfect’. I want everyone to be smiling and nicely dressed. I want my house to be clean and in order. I want things peaceful, joyful, at rest. When these things are not my reality, I often run away to a world of entertainment or falsehood that portrays things the way I want them to be, instead of embracing what is.

Yet at the same time I am also drawn to the fb statuses and blog posts that are real and raw. I like to read things from other women or young mothers who are in the midst of the similar daily challenges and don’t ‘have it all together’. I seek wisdom from people who have walked with Jesus through a lot of ups and downs. I think that this use of the internet and social media can be a good thing. However, sometimes even this can be a distraction from what I need to be doing, or an obsession with other people’s lives instead of focusing on my own.

So my love / hate relationship with facebook, blogs, etc continues... J

Someone told me recently that there are some points of tension in our lives that are healthy, but that we often see all tension as something to be resolved. Is this tension in my life a good one?

As I wrestle these thoughts and bring them before the Lord, this is one of the places He has brought me...

“Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?’ (John 11:40)

Do I really believe the words of Jesus? Do I seek to know and follow Him in ALL I do? Do I spend my time doing the most important thing - loving God and loving others? Do I want to see God’s glory? Is this really my ultimate heart’s desire – above all else??

The Lord will glorify His name (John 12:28). He has already and He will continue to. The absolutely crazy thing is that He has given me the incredible gift and privilege to be involved in His name being glorified. Will I partake in the glory of God by believing and following Him fully?? Or will I follow my own way – based on up and down emotions and whims of my heart? Will I seek the things that please God, or seek the things that please myself and others (John 12:43)?  Do I really believe God?? 

There are SO many things to do with my days and time right now. I thought that once we got to Africa, things would slow down a bit. I’m finally realizing that this season of little ones, combined with Jason’s career and our ministry callings together, will probably leave us fighting busyness and over-commitment for a long time. With that being said, the Lord is calling me to fully embrace the NOW.

I don’t want to miss these moments with my precious boys because I’m distracted by the most recent articles or pictures posted on my newsfeed on facebook.

I don’t want to miss the neighbor in need, the young woman who is longing for encouragement, or the child who needs a friend.

I don’t want to miss God’s voice speaking through His Word each day.

I don’t want to miss Jesus whispering to my heart throughout the day or night – through beauty, pain, joy, and challenges – pulling me to Himself and loving me so strongly and gently.

I don’t want to miss really seeing, listening to, and connecting with my husband when he comes home each evening.

I don’t want to miss God’s glory because I would rather escape from challenges and discomforts (both big and small) and ‘do my own thing’.

I’ve just been reading a book about the persecution of the worldwide Christian Church so my ‘challenges’ seem VERY insignificant in SO many ways. However, today this is my ‘hard place’... dirty diapers to change and wash, snotty noses to wipe, a fussy baby and needy toddler to care for, strangers at my door to talk with, a sink and counter full of dirty dishes, piles of laundry to wash, sort, fold, and put away, toys to pick up, beds to make, moldy walls to scrub, meals to prepare...

All of these things are actually a huge blessing in disguise. These small challenges are what the Lord is using to grow and change my heart and character. He changing me – ever so slowly – into the person He intends for me to be – to reflect His image and glory.

With God’s grace and help I will choose today to engage fully in the life He has called me to. For me, right now, this means...

I will shut off my computer.

I will call a friend who offered to come help me today.

I will put on some music and embrace the above-mentioned tasks.

I will choose to see interruptions from my tasks as opportunities from the Lord.

I will choose to focus on the hearts of my children, husband, and neighbors.

What is God calling YOU to today? How does He want you to fully embrace the life He has given you – this moment?

Much love to all from this little corner of the world! – Meridith

(Don’t worry family and friends – I will still be posting pictures and updates. I am just choosing to take a break from ‘surfing’ fb or the internet for a while in order to refocus).