The Burden

His finger snapped loudly

Into the microphone

The crowd captivated

One snap per second

Per soul

 

Each soul forever lost 

If we don’t bring them in

To save them

I must save them

Will it ever be enough? 

 

Deep confusion

Gnawing guilt

Intense heaviness

Again

An impossible burden on my back 

 

As long as I can remember

This weight

People on the street

Knocking on doors

Coffee shop relationships 

 

Journeying through life

Child, teenager, jeune femme 

Bent over by the burden

Back and shoulders twisted

As if old and wrinkled.

 

I thought I was on the path

Of good news

Liberty, freedom, light, sight

Healing, restoration, wholeness

Why so impossibly heavy? 

 

The burden grew

I fell in the muck

No Help to pull me out

I was sinking

From the commission itself

 

The work of the field  

Was the burden on my back 

The irony and shame

Added to the load 

The harvest was ready

Day after day

I walked

And wrote

And prayed

Confused

 

Night after night

I cried

And questioned

Why is the yoke so hard?

Why the load so heavy? 

 

I couldn’t find

Easy and light

Jesus where are You

In all of this

Please help me 

 

I studied

And asked

And listened

Wondering

Is this burden of God?

 

Then hiking in the forest

On a random Thursday

Under the shadow of a tree

For a reason unknown to me

God answered

 

The burden fell off my shoulders

It slid down my back 

Tumbling into the dirt

And rocks at my feet

Absorbed into the ground

 

I looked up to the sky

Arms outstretched

With my own words

Coming out of my mouth

I can’t save anyone

 

Heaven and hell

Are mysteries

Not mine to solve

Not mine to know

Held by God

Who’s in 

Who‘s out

What happens to our bodies

And souls

When we die. 

 

Intricate, amazing humanity

God’s possession

Not mine 

There is no blood on my hands

I can’t save anyone. 

 

My mission in life

Is no longer to save people

I am here

To love and be loved

Am I really free?

 

Perhaps now

I can freely love

On the street

With a stranger

Waiting for coffee 

 

No pitch needed

No arguments to win

No agenda

A human to see 

A human to know

 

Myself included

To love

And be loved 

God in flesh

Inviting a new yoke

 

Come to Me

You are worn out

Lay in the grass

Eat, drink, sleep

I AM here

 

So I came

And here I rested 

The burden gone

My shoulders free

This is the good news.