Free from Self

I spent the other day at home in our nest above the treetops here in Nairobi. The large window seat and the constant breeze make it feel almost like you’re perched in the top of a tree overlooking the city. This spot is a wonderful place to read, pray, contemplate life, listen to children playing in the courtyards below, and write…

I’ve wanted to write out some thoughts and scriptures on a topic that has been a challenge for me off and on, but to be honest I’ve been a little timid and embarrassed to write about it. I feel strange to be struggling with this at the point in life that I am in. Especially with the facts that I am confident in God’s love for me, and that I have an absolutely incredible husband who constantly affirms and loves me more than I ever anticipated or hoped for. Despite these two amazing truths, I sometimes find myself struggling with self-consciousness and insecurity.

Why is this?! It most often comes up when I find myself in a new place and/or among new people. It’s almost funny that here I am struggling with this in Africa. However, Nairobi is very different than the rural areas we were in before. This is a very large and westernized city – full of beautiful and fashionable people. I am secure in who I am in Christ, so why do I sometimes feel insecure? I long to be God-conscious instead of self-conscious, so why do I so often get in the way of my own thoughts?

Like I said, I didn’t really want to post about this. However, I spent a long time with the Lord the other day – searching His Word and praying through the above thoughts. He gave me some strong encouragement. Since then, He has prompted me to share this because I know that many of you may struggle in similar ways at times. My search of scripture began with this prayer…

• “Lord, remind me of who You have made me to be”…

“Do you not know that you are a temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, For the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are” - I Corinthians 3:16-17

“Now God has not only raised the Lord, but will also raise us up through His power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ?” - I Corinthians 6:14-15

“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” - I Corinthians 6:19-20

• ·      I am holy and my body is the dwelling place of the Holy Spirit. All that I am belongs to Him.

1 Corinthians 12…

“But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually, just as He wills.”  - vs.11

“But now God has placed the members, each one of them, in the body, just as He desired.” - vs.18

“Now you are Christ’s body, and individually members of it.” - vs.27

• ·      God has created me just as He desired – as an individual member of His corporate body.

“For we are not bold to class or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves: but when they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding… But we will not boast beyond our measure, but within the measure of the sphere with God apportioned to us as a measure… For he who boasts is to boast in the Lord. For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.” – 2 Corinthians 10:12-13, & 17-18

• ·      I am unwise and without understanding when I compare myself with others. All that truly matters, and all that I can boast in, is the Lord’s approval and commendation.

“But by the grace of God I am what I am” – 1 Corinthians 15:11

• ·      God has graciously made me who I am

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher (perfector) of our faith”… Hebrews 12:1-2a

• ·      Christ has called me to run the race He has set before me, with my eyes fixed on HIM. (not on myself, my racing partner, opponent, friend, etc)

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” – 2 Corinthians 3:17

“If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed!” – John 8:36

“If you continue in my Word, then you are truly disciples of Mine: and you will know the truth, and the truth will make you free.” – John 8:31-32

• ·      The Lord, and His Truth, Son, and Spirit, have come to free us from all bondage of sin and self. We are free!

“Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” – 2 Corinthians 3:4-5

“But we have this treasure (Christ) in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not of ourselves” – 2 Corinthians 4:7

“… Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling: for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure… holding fast the Word of Life, so that in the day of Christ I will have reason to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain” – Philippians 2:12b-13, 16

• ·      Because of Christ in me, I am completely adequate to accomplish anything He calls me to be or do. He is the one accomplishing His work through me.

“Therefore as you have received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in Him, having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude” – Colossians 2:6-7

• ·      These were our wedding verses, and what a good reminder from the Lord they were (and are) on this day. My focus is on Christ Himself. Walking in Him is my calling. I am firmly rooted in Him. I desire to be continually built up in Him and established in my faith. In all of this, I am now overflowing with gratitude…

  Thank you Lord, for who I am in You. Pull my gaze to You and don’t let me look away. Keep me constantly reminded of the incredible truth from your lips. Thank you that I am secure when my focus is on You.