More on Enjoyment

Delight in. Appreciate. Relish. Revel in. Savor. Bask in.

These are all synonyms of ‘Enjoy’, according to Merriam-Webster.

We are now in our third month of the year, and I must say that I’m still seeking and striving to understand enjoyment. I’m still chasing an emotion. I’m still grasping for what feels too often elusive.

Key words: Seeking. Striving. Chasing. Grasping.

These sound very different than the synonyms of ‘enjoy’ listed at the top of this page. The synonyms sound like freedom and life to me. The key words sound exhausting and desperate.

I’ve been asking myself so many questions lately...

“Do I need to further ‘simplify’ my life?”

“Do I just need to ‘slow down’ more?”

“Am I truly doing the things God has called me to?”

“Am I missing something here?”

Key word: I

All of these statements are very focused on one thing... me. I’m so wrapped up in me, that I’m now convinced that my lack of enjoyment must be my failure in some way. I must be doing something ‘wrong’.

But the truth that the Lord is slowly sinking deeper into me, is that true joy, and ultimately enjoyment, is something that is wrapped up in HIM. Throughout Scripture, joy is most often mentioned in context of restored relationship with God Himself. It seems that when we are in communion with our Creator, we have joy that cannot be contained. It’s not something we ‘seek’ or ‘create’, but something we ‘have’ and are ‘given’.

What if the joy I’m seeking is something I already have?

What if the enjoyment I’m trying to create is something I’ve already been given – a gift from my Father’s hand?

What if my ability to delight in, relish, and savor the people and things that I love each day, is not found in better managing or controlling my circumstances?

What if trying to make my moments picture perfect won’t bring more enjoyment to my heart?

What if trying to ‘slow down’ my life with three busy little boys is actually causing more tension in our home?

These ‘what ifs’ are actually incredibly freeing for me to think about...

The Spirit of God has been speaking, convicting, leading, and loving me so well. His faithfulness is the most incredible thing I’ve ever known. I’m so impatient with the process of growth in myself, yet He is ever so patient and kind with me. He’s leading me into some places and things that I don’t feel ready for, that I’m afraid to embrace. Yet at the same time as I hear and feel His prodding to step out into some bold unknowns, I also hear Him speaking freedom and joy over me. It’s as if the very things I’m afraid of might lead me to greater heights and depths with Him. I want to go. No matter what awaits, HE is my whole life, and my journey is with Him.