Firmly Standing

I haven’t written in a while because it has been hard to gather my swirling thoughts (and even harder to find the time!). SO much has happened in such a short time in our lives. To be honest, it often keeps my head spinning, and my heart overwhelmed with varied emotions. Even as I sit down to write this, the two older boys are still fighting against sleep – an hour after I put them in bed for a nap, and the baby is stirring from his short rest. 

Sigh. Deep breath. Put baby on my lap and keep typing...

The last few weeks have been a fight for perspective. I have SO much to be grateful for -- and I truly am! Yet I keep finding myself overwhelmed by both big and ‘small’ issues. 

• Trying to sort through the insanity called politics in our country right now – in order to make the best decision I can about who to vote for in less than 2 weeks. 

• Managing the laundry, cleaning, diaper changing, holding, feeding, and nurturing of our 3 little men. 

• Trying to maintain a strong and healthy marriage – when the little ones take so much of my time and energy – and my husband’s work takes so much of his. 

• Keeping our home running as smoothly as possible in this season – working to create a place of peace, fun, refuge, and refreshment for all of us.

• Sorting through my confusion about how to engage this culture we now live in again – and how to stay in touch with the one we just left.

• Praying for friends who are hurting and struggling through incredibly hard circumstances.

• Fully engaging with people and life here in Kansas City, while trying to maintain connection with other family and friends – all while knowing we will probably move again two years from now.

• Attempting to sort through the many things competing for my time and attention – so that I can focus on what is most important. 

• Struggling with how to help my almost two year old with his fits of uncontrolled emotions. 

In the midst of all these things and more, I remain in desperate need of the proper perspective. If I am not careful, I become consumed by the challenges and frustrations of the moment. However...

“This I call to mind, and therefore I have hope.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; 

His mercies never come to an end;

They are new every morning;

Great is Your faithfulness.”

   - Lamentations 3:21-23

I recently watched “Prince Caspian”, a movie based on the C.S. Lewis book by the same name. There is a scene toward the end of the movie that completely captured me... 

It is the middle of a war between two kingdoms. One seems noticeably stronger in both number of warriors and resources. However, the other warriors have someone on their side that can control the trees and rivers, and they soon find themselves winning the battle. The first kingdom sees that they are being defeated and attempt to retreat by crossing a bridge. However, the leader of the army suddenly stops half-way across the bridge – as he is met by a young girl (Lucy) who is standing on the other side. Though a large and fierce army is right in front of her, she just stands there.

Calm.

Confident. 

Serene. 

Firm.

She then pulls out a small knife and plants her feet even more securely on the bridge – as if daring them to try and cross. 

A moment later, the reason for her confidence is revealed...

Aslan, The Great Lion, walks up and stands next to her. 

He had been standing right behind her, just out of sight. 

He was the ‘someone’ who controlled the trees and water – and could defeat even the greatest armies. 

I haven’t been able to get this image of Lucy out of my mind as I long for the traits that she possessed in that moment.

Serenity. Confidence. Peace. Courage. Stability.

These traits came from knowing that she really had nothing to fear. She was secure because of who stood beside her. 

So I keep praying for the One who is by my side to help me trust more in His Greatness, Power, Authority, Faithfulness, Mercy, and Love. Even though He may not always be visible, Jesus is the One who stands behind, beside, and before me. HE is my refuge, strength, and protection. HE is my guide, shield, and help. 

With HIM, I can do all things (Philippians 4:13).