Behold

I’ve been working on a post for the New Year in my head for several weeks now. I am just now sitting down to write it as the past few weeks have been quite full... 

• Celebrating Christmas with my family.
• The birth of our precious new son, Titus Jeremiah Axt on December 26^th!  
• Visiting with Jason’s parents and Nashville friends – and introducing our newest gift to them.
• Moving to Kansas City with 3 boys under the age of 4 (Thank goodness my mother traveled with me, and is staying for a few weeks).
• Taking care of these 3 little boys and trying to settle in a bit – while battling stomach bugs, colds, post-partum hormones, winter weather, and culture stress.

Despite all of the challenges, we are beginning to settle into a routine here, and this lovely old house is turning into our new home. We are SO grateful for God’s continual and abundant provision. Many people have asked me how we are doing all of this transition at one time. My honest answer? 

God.

HE is the One giving us the strength and help we need for each day (and night). We truly can’t do a moment of this without Him. His presence is our breath. His peace is our calm. His sustaining grace is our life. 

Thank you all for your prayers! Please keep them coming. Jason seems to be off to a good start with pediatric surgery fellowship, but is working a lot of hours. We are all on a steep learning curve once again (and a little low on sleep). God is answering so many prayers and helping us in more ways than you know. He is faithful! 

  

So last year, instead of making a bunch of goals for the New Year, I chose a word to focus on. I’ve seen many people doing this over the past couple of years and I love the idea. In 2015 I chose ‘Embrace’. Throughout the year, I re-focused often on fully embracing each day – each moment – whatever was right in front of me. I struggled to embrace both the smooth and the hard. I chose to fully embrace the people around me and the tasks in front of me. 

I must report that although this discipline was extremely challenging at times, it was oh so rewarding in the end! Even though we were only in Cameroon for 15 months, we built relationships that I pray will last and matter for eternity. We lived fully, though imperfectly. We struggled, and we prayed, and we laughed, and we LIVED. We made mistakes and we learned. We came in weakness, and God showed up over and over again in HIS strength. 

Since we’ve been back in the States, I’ve been struck by the amount of distractions that are constantly in front of me – phone, internet, ads, billboards, tv, movies, news, etc. While much of it can be a blessing, it has often felt like a frustrating distraction from embracing and engaging with the people in front of me – even my own family. 

I’ve been asking the Lord for a word to focus on in 2016 that will help me not miss the truly important in the midst of all the noise and activity around me. So while this word might seem ancient, I have chosen “Behold”. 

‘Behold’ is a verb that means “to see or observe (a thing or person)”. According to Merrian-Webster, it can also mean “to perceive” or “to gaze upon”. 

I want to behold HIM – the One my soul loves. My Savior, Redeemer, Refuge, Friend, Life, Light, and all that is Good. 

I want my eyes opened more to God. 

I want to really see what He is doing in and around me. 

I want to perceive the voice of God above all the noise. 

I want to gaze upon His face – and let all else fade into the background. 

I want to behold my hard working husband. 

I want to see the joy, or grief, or light, or pain in his eyes as he shares about his day as a surgeon. I want to observe things from his perspective.

I want to take time to see and thank him more for his tender care and strong love. 

I want to behold my sons. 

I want to see each of my precious boys with the eyes of the One who created them.

I want to slow down and gaze upon the perfection of my newborn baby. 

I want to stop and just be with them – to play and laugh and cuddle and read and engage their many questions. 

I want to behold the people who are right in front of me – the neighbor, stranger, family member, or friend. 

I want to stop and really see them. 

I want to perceive their hurts, desires, passions, and hopes, and then encourage them along the way.

I want to behold the needy, homeless, broken, abandoned, and addicted – and love them where they are. 

I want to behold the truths of Scripture and apply them more in the midst of my every day life. 

I want to take the time to gaze upon who God is throughout the pages of the Bible.

I want to be changed by what I see and learn. 

I want to behold the beauty that is around me each day. 

There is so much that is hard, broken, and evil in the world, and I want to take time to gaze upon the good. 

My sister recently introduced me to a song called, ‘Always More’.

(Written by John Dwayne, Larring Howard, Benjamin Cowart, and Cory Michael Voss. Recorded by Benji & Jenna Cowart.) 

I think it might be my new favorite, and my theme for 2016...

Always More

The Lord is my Shepherd, whom shall I fear?

The Lord is my Anchor, and I am secure.

The Lord is my Refuge, why should I run from Him? 

You keep me through danger. You’re guarding my way.

You never forsake me. You always remain.

You’re where I belong, and You are where I will stay.

I will gaze and behold Your beauty

I will dwell in Your house Oh God

I won’t leave ‘til you meet here with me

You’re the One worth waiting for

You are the reason for my being

You are the cup that overflows

You are the river never-ending

With you Lord, there’s always more

You are always more.

God of salvation, right from the start,

There was only one longing, one song in my heart.

I must have Your presence, Oh to be where You are. (Chorus)