Abundance

“You visit the earth and water it, You greatly enrich it; the river of God is full of water, You provide their grain, for so You have prepared it. You water its furrows abundantly, settling its ridges, softening it with showers, and blessing its growth. You crown the year with Your bounty; Your wagon tracks overflow with abundance. The pastures of the wilderness overflow, the hills gird themselves with joy, the meadows clothe themselves with flocks, the valleys deck themselves with grain, they shout and sing together for joy.” – Psalm 65:9-13

My mind has been wrapped up lately with this idea of the abundance of God. In the western world, we immediately think of abundance as material wealth, physical health, beauty, and having all we want or need. Some books I’ve been reading lately have been talking about the abundance of God being seen and experienced IN THE MIDST of brokenness, imperfections, and the mess and challenges of our lives. The idea that only our Maker can fulfill the deepest parts of us, and that the abundance of HIM is always available, is really changing the way I perceive my moments and days.

I’ve been living in a season of constantly feeling the lack... lack of energy, lack of time, lack of patience, lack of connection, lack of enjoyment... Yet focusing on the lack has only deepened my tension and frustration. I have sensed the Lord speaking strongly to me about His abundance. He’s calling me to draw near and experience this truth...

“Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him! Oh, fear the Lord, you His saints, for those who fear Him have no lack!” – Psalm 34:8-9

Do I believe it??

Do I believe there is an abundant supply of everything I need each moment I run to the Lord??

Do I really believe that His storehouses are overflowing, and that His river of supply is never-ending?!

If I really believed this, I think I would live differently. Instead of living in constant tension, or escaping the moments, I would face the situation with God’s ever flowing supply of whatever I need.

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I asked Jason recently how he does it... How does he come home after a 30+ hour shift and still give to me and the boys? How does he do it without begrudging us, or being frustrated by his lack of rest or alone time? How is he always giving and always serving?? He answered simply.

“I don’t know Meridith. I just know that when I pray and then do the next thing, there is always enough. I don’t often feel like I have more to give. Maybe it’s like the story of the widow woman and Elijah in Scripture – what I need for that moment is always there. It has never run out.”

We’ve talked about this woman often in the past couple of weeks. Although her name is never given, she is described as a “widow from Zarephath” (1 Kings 17). She lived during an intense famine, and the prophet Elijah asked her for a piece of bread...

12 And she said, "As the Lord your God lives, I have nothing baked, only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. And now I am gathering a couple of sticks that I may go in and prepare it for myself and my son, that we may eat it and die."

13 And Elijah said to her, "Do not fear; go and do as you have said. But first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son. 
14 For thus says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'The jar of flour shall not be spent, and the jug of oil shall not be empty, until the day that the Lord sends rain upon the earth.'"

15 And she went and did as Elijah said. And she and he and her household ate for many days. 
16 The jar of flour was not spent, neither did the jug of oil become empty, according to the word of the Lord that he spoke by Elijah.

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I wonder if she really understood what God was going to do? I wonder if she could see and feel that there was an overabundant supply? Or did it simply look like just enough for one more cake, and then one more loaf of bread, and then just one more...

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God is continuing to stretch us. He is keeping us in a place beyond our own capabilities. Sometimes it feels like famine, and impossibilities are before our eyes. In the moments when my eyes are on myself, I cry out in frustration,

“Don’t you know I can’t do this?!”

I desperately want to feel strong, to feel in control. I want to feel like I am on top of things and thriving in my own strength. Yet the minute I feel like I’m keeping my own head above water, the Lord leads us in deeper, and allows the waves to become higher.

Though I still too often wrestle with Him, I’m finally beginning to realize...

He’s not trying to hurt me. He’s not being mean.

He’s pouring out more of His mercy and His grace.

He’s keeping me dependent on Him – the only One who can satisfy my soul.

He wants me to thrive – but not on my own – not independent of Him.

He wants me.

And this truth is changing me. God doesn’t want me to have it all together, to be able to do things on my own. He wants me running to Him -- leaning, resting, and drawing all I need from His forever-flowing river of abundance.

“It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to Your name, O Most High; to declare Your steadfast love in the morning, and your faithfulness by night...

For You, O Lord, have made me glad by Your work; at the works of Your hands I sing for joy.” – Psalm 92:1-2, 4

As I’m beginning to see and thank God more for who He is, I’m experiencing more joy and internal rest. I’m also seeing more of HIS work in and around me. I’m slowly letting go of the fears of failure and the future. Bit by bit, He is growing me in freedom.

“The righteous flourish like the palm tree and grow like a cedar in Lebanon. They are planted in the house of the Lord; they flourish in the courts of our God. They still bear fruit in old age; they are ever full of sap and green, to declare that the Lord is upright; HE is my rock, and there is no unrighteousness in Him.” – Psalm 92:12-15

Oh that we could see our guaranteed success when safely in the hands of our Creator and Redeemer. Oh that we could see that this success is an ETERNAL one – that matters far more than all the riches and earthly abundance we could ever accumulate. Oh that our eyes would be opened to the flourishing and abundance that is available to us each and every moment.

“Oh Lord, change me. Change us. Open our eyes. Let us see. Let abundance not be about what we possess, but all about our hands reaching for Yours – the Possessor of ALL things.”