Messes
Two things I want to work on in this blog are posting more
pictures and being more real / transparent. This post is my attempt to do both.
J
For those who can’t tell, this is Nestle chocolate syrup,
dumped all over the rug, floor, and inside the cabinet. I wanted to cry, and then laugh, as Nathaniel says “I do
dis?” (aka: did I do this?) He then followed it up with asking “why I do dis?” I
didn’t have an answer for that one.
Even with two small children, I often feel like I need to
have my house in a certain order with everything clean and in place. Some days
I drive myself crazy with this desire, and other days I relax more and embrace
this season a little better. I’ve been trying to think through the good and bad of this struggle more lately. Why do I need / want everything to be in order? Why does dirt and
clutter bother me? Is it just because I’m worried about what others will think?
Is it a heart motivated by fear or need for approval? Or is it something
else?...
I think my desire for order and beauty in my home is
actually a very natural thing that is not at all bad. Yes, I can take it to the
extreme and any time I put tasks or my desires before people (especially my
kids), it is not a good thing. However, I think that there is
something placed in us by God that desires order out of chaos and beauty in the midst of messes. It is a picture of redemption.
God takes something broken and makes it useful to Him. He
takes something ugly and makes it beautiful. He takes defeat and heartache and
replaces it with hope and grace. This is redemption and my heart is longing for
it in so many ways.
This morning I spent some time listening to the song called
“Worn” by Sanctus Real. I absolutely love the chorus:
Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that's frail and torn
I want to know a song can rise from ashes of a broken life
And that's dead inside can be reborn
Cause I'm worn
These words echo the emotions of my soul today. I long to
see God’s faithful hand working redemption in the lives of those I love. I know that He is working, but I can’t
always see it. I also know that God allows people to make their own
choices. When voicing my frustration last night over seeing pain and struggle
instead of God’s powerful redemption in so many lives, Jason gently reminded me
that we don’t know what people’s lives would look like without God’s restraining
and redemptive work going on. Many people could be in much worse places than
they are. Without God’s intervention, perhaps a difficult marriage would not
even be in existence. Maybe the couple would have given up a long time ago.
Maybe those that I see wrestling with sin wouldn’t be wrestling, but instead
embracing it. Perhaps those struggling with pain or illness would not have the
grace to continue relationships, jobs, or ministries in the midst of suffering if God’s
hand was not helping them.
I don’t know. I don’t have any of this figured out. Today I
just have to trust in who God is, instead of focusing on the circumstances
around me. I was reminded by a friend last night that’s God’s character and
nature is revealed in His name, and that is what we trust in – who He is.
“And those who know your name put
their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you”. – Psalm 9:10
So what does all of this have to do with a messy house or a
frustrating day? I think sometimes these little things remind me of a bigger
story. Every time I have the opportunity to restore some order from chaos, or
create beauty from messes, I get a tiny glimpse of God’s heart. He loves to
redeem. He desires all that is good. Every
time I change a dirty diaper, feed a hungry baby, calm a crying child, change
into a clean outfit for the millionth time in a day, or clean up a mess of
Nestle chocolate syrup - I can be reminded that God is working on a much larger
scale to restore order and beauty, right every wrong, fix all that is broken.
In the middle of our messes – He redeems.
Amen!!
ReplyDeleteYour words really spoke to my heart today. Thank you for sharing. Love and miss you!
ReplyDelete